When Divorce Advice Does More Harm Than Good

The cottage industry of unqualified "experts" providing advice and coaching for profits... buyer beware.

By Bob Mitton, CDFA, Founder of Tidal Pointe Advisors

If you spend any time online searching for divorce guidance, you will quickly find no shortage of people offering advice. Many of them are passionate, confident, and deeply opinionated. Most of them are not trained professionals.

Over the years, I have watched a troubling pattern emerge. People who have been through painful divorces, often carrying a lot of unresolved anger, position themselves as experts simply because they survived the experience. They build platforms, sell coaching, and offer certainty to people who are scared and vulnerable. While some of these voices may be well intentioned, many are not equipped to understand the legal and financial consequences of the advice they are giving.

That can cause real harm.

Lived Experience Is Not the Same as Expertise

Going through a divorce changes you. It can sharpen your instincts and deepen your empathy. But it does not automatically prepare you to guide someone else through decisions that will affect their finances, their children, and their future for decades.

We regularly meet clients who come to us after following advice that was fueled by emotion rather than analysis. They were encouraged to take hardline positions, to distrust professionals, or to fight for outcomes that felt empowering in the moment but were not financially realistic. By the time they reach us, the damage is often already done. Costs have escalated. Relationships have deteriorated. Options have narrowed.

Good guidance should calm the nervous system, not inflame it.

The Problem With Unregulated Divorce Coaching

What concerns me most is how easily this kind of advice is monetized. Coaching programs, memberships, and one size fits all strategies are marketed directly to people in crisis. There is no requirement for training, no ethical standard to uphold, and no accountability when advice leads someone down a costly or destructive path.

Divorce is not a motivational seminar. It is a legal and financial event with long term consequences. Treating it otherwise is irresponsible.

What We Do Differently

At Tidal Pointe Advisors, we come at this work from a very different place.

We are trained professionals. As Certified Divorce Financial Analysts, our job is to slow the process down, bring the numbers into focus, and help people understand the trade-offs they are actually making. We look at cash flow, assets, taxes, support, and long-term sustainability. We work alongside attorneys and mediators, not against them.

We are not here to pick sides. We are here to help people make decisions they can live with years from now. This approach is not flashy. It does not fit neatly into social media sound bites. But it works.

Why This Matters

Divorce decisions are often permanent. Once agreements are signed and judgments entered, many things cannot be undone. The advice you follow in the most emotional moments of your life can shape your financial reality for the next twenty or thirty years.

That is why who you listen to matters.

There is nothing wrong with seeking support or community during divorce. But when it comes to making decisions about money, property, and long-term security, experience and training matter.

Choosing Thoughtfully

If you are contemplating divorce or already in the process, I encourage you to be thoughtful about where you get your advice. Ask about credentials. Ask about experience. Ask how recommendations are made and what assumptions they are based on.

At Tidal Pointe Advisors, we believe people deserve guidance that is steady, informed, and grounded in reality. Our role is not to push anyone in a particular direction, but to help them see clearly so they can move forward with confidence and peace of mind.